Sparky

While I reflect back on the last 8 years of marriage there are two weeks in late 2003 that pull together to create one of the biggest life changing moments I could have hoped to ever have. November 26th an act of kindness, November 30th an adventure with a good friend, December 3rd the start of something amazing.
So the short(er) version
I lent my car to a friend who was stuck in town because her paperwork to cross the border had not come in time for American Thanksgiving. Later that same week I offered to get her out of town, to Whistler, for a day so she wouldn't be stuck at home during her week off.
I sure wasn't expecting the conversation on the way home.
Now every time I try to relate this part of the story I don't say it correctly so here I will try my best (with the ability of the delete button) to write it properly.
I was told in a much more elegant way, that if I were to show interest in the young lady in my passenger seat she would be okay with me asking her out. I was shocked and silenced by the offer because I just never expected it. This made for an awkward thirty minutes from Abbotsford to home.
You see Keri had been my leader, mentor, and friend, so on December 3rd I finally got the nerve up to ask if my hearing was correct and if the door was still open for me to knock at. Then I popped the question.
And that day goes down as the start of one crazy roller coaster! During that time we listened to much romantic Christmas music, one song in particular caught my ear. The line went "you came and caused a spark that's a four alarm fire now!" and I must say that fire is still going strong.
Fast forward to February 10th, I have secretly talked to Keri's father and bought the ring that she picked out. I have a plan for later in the month to propose, I have it all figured out. Then. Plans changed. One moment we are watching curling with my mom and I am getting ready to take Keri home and the next I hear God say, "Do it now."
"Now Lord, but what about my plans?"
"Do it now."
"How can I be sure that this isn't me rushing into things or just making up a conversation in my head?"
"Do it now."
"Okay Lord, I will do it now"




So that is the result from "now". And this picture still hangs on our fridge as a solid reminder.
That week started with pure joy, a ring, papers to get back across the border, and money for a downpayment for a house followed by Valentine's Day.
There was bad news the next week but this blog post is about the joy of the last eight years so we can save those talks for another day. The only point to add is it caused us to expedite our wedding plans.
Our wedding on April 10th was a blur to us.












Even on that day we knew there were going to be storms ahead. And we knew that with God and each other we were ready to face those storms... in theory. Within the next couple months we proved it to ourselves.
You see on April 10, 2004 I married my leader, who became my co-leader and adventure companion; my mentor who became my cheerleader; my friend who became my soul mate. Keri is still the spark in my life and there is no one that I would rather face life with in my corner. She believes in me more than I believe in myself at times, and she knows how to pull out my best.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22a)
Keri's spark has turned my world upside down and inside out from the way it was, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I love you Sparky! xoxo
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
To follow my wife's blog and get more accurate detailed information on our life goto: http://keriharvey.blogspot.com/

Authors

So about two months ago I went to a local Christian bookstore. I was just wandering through the different sections and a helpful employee walked up to me and asked a question I am sure she wished she could take back, "Is there anything I can help you find?"
"Yes, I have a favourite author and I have read almost all of his stuff can you tell me another author who writes like him?"
"Sure which author?"
"Stephen Lawhead."
Silence. No response. Followed by "yeah.. you aren't really going to find anyone like him."
So I walked away away empty handed, no more fiction until August when his new book came out.
But now, things have changed there is an author the writes similar to Lawhead and it is because he too is a Lawhead, Ross Lawhead.

I am not sure how Ross will do walking in his dad's shadow but seeing as the two of them already released one series it is fun to see Ross breaking out on his own books, The Ancient Earth Trilogy - The Realms Thereunder.

The cool thing I found with this is that for those interested in trying out the book before buying it they have a flip-book so for all those who have enjoyed the Pendragon Cycle, Raven King Trilogy, Celtic Crusades, The Song of Albion, and more recently The Skin Map, maybe it is time to see what the next generation is up to. 

Here's looking forward to a nice generational transition!

"Tangled" in thought

Side note - I think pun humor becomes more apart of me as I take this trip through fatherhood...

Spoiler alert: The ending of Tangled is given away in this blog - if you haven't seen the movie you may want to stop here...

A couple nights ago we had all our students and interns over at our house for an ice cream, nerf war, hang out and movie time. The movie choice: Disney's Tangled. The reason: some young adults without kids haven't seen the movie!! Its hard for me to give a count of the number of viewings of that movie that are shown in my house in a week - and we have had that movie for at least four months. Needless to say, I know nearly every line. Even Emma quotes lines before they will happen in the movie... okay, that needs to change, but it was a very rainy spring and survival (aka sanity) was top priority.

So back to those who had never seen it: They laughed at scenes that for me weren't as funny. Even when other people were talking about what comes next they were shocked to see it unravel. But the best reaction comes at the end of course.

I remember leaning in towards the TV when Eugene was shackled and then in that moment reaches up and cuts off Rapunzel's hair. The absolute shock to see that self sacrifice for the good of someone else. What a moment!

That night with the students - for some it was their turn to experience it for the first time and realize the consequences of Eugene's actions... Now there were others in the room mocking or treating it with indifference because they were so used to the story. I sat there again and looked at it all with fresh eyes.

There was a shock that comes, and a moment of "Wow, Disney was actually willing to go there... good on them." Then the song that Rapunzel has sung so many times before has got a new meaning, there is a realization to what those words really mean:

"Flower gleam and glow, Let your power shine, Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine, Heal what has been hurt, change fates design, Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine... What once was mine."

In the movie the singing of those lines changed throughout the story. Sometimes happy and carefree, then quick to get it over with, slow to demonstrate it, and then finally with sorrow understanding the words. John Lasseter and his team completely capture the truth: we forget the power and meaning of words until something shocks us back to reality.

There was a time long ago in my past when I had the privilege of being the emcee for a friend's wedding. As I was getting ready I was thinking of something to say that wasn't cliche or off colour, but something honouring to the newly wed couple. I remember talking about my friend and a bit about his relationship with his wife and then quoted John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that to lay down one's life for his friends." I went on to say that knowing the character of the man before me I could say he would live this out in his marriage.

Now some days I forget the power of those words, just like Rapunzel and her song. I am ashamed to say I can read past nuggets like that and forget the effect that they had on me the first time I understood it and what the full implication of those words are.

I could have picked from many stories of my past and present to portray this lack or remembrance. But John 15:13 is also the truth that lays at the heart of why so many people, young and old, are shocked with that fateful turn of events in Tangled. Eugene knows what his action is going to result in and still lays down his life for a friend. That is love in its purest form, putting the other persons needs above your own.

I forget the meaning of this at times. Then I listen to a Police Chief talk about a Patrolman who lost his life in the line of duty and even while pinned under the car that ran him over, he is hoping that the passengers are okay. That is jaw dropping - could I have that much concern for others that while dying at their hand my concern is for them? But these stories surface so often that sometimes we brush past them thinking, "I have seen it all before." I don't want to live like that - I want to remember what lays behind these things. I want to be one who feels the impact of actions and statements so that I don't go away indifferent but instead ready to do my part.

The other way I have heard this described is our needs grow as we get older. This is true for wonder as well. If I were to tell a story to Jonah (8), Abigail (4), Emma (2)
To Jonah - "little Sally walked up to the door, opened the door... And a lion leapt out at her" his eyes would go big at that point
To Abigail - "little Sally walked up to the door, opened the door... " and she would be on the edge of her seat.
To Emma - "little Sally walked up to the door" for her walking is such a new thing there would be enough wonder in that.
You see with each age more is required to bring a level of amazement. Unfortunately, with all the things of life we lack wonder from desensitization.

So the challenge to those who have read this far - remember something that absolutely amazed you, and look at it again with fresh eyes. It could be your spouse, job, scenery on your favourite walk or maybe a co-worker (okay amazed might be to heavy a word for the last one). I know for me it makes life a whole lot more exciting and fun to see people and places with fresh eyes again.

The Conversation Rulebook

Disclaimer: I realize that this won't be interesting to most but I feel it needs to be done.

Before going further I want to lay a couple foundational ideas of logic. I am an analytical thinker and having a framework helps when trying to hang thoughts.  I want to present the primary laws of logic required for coherent conversation. Now I haven't done much official study in this field so if I need correcting please let me know. These ideas are pretty basic and we use them without thinking about it. Laying them out is like writing down the rules to a game so everyone knows how to play. The truth is we cannot avoid them. So here they are:

Four Laws of Logic:

• Law of Identity
• Law of Rational Inference
• Law of the Excluded Middle
• Law of Non-Contradiction

The Law of Identity:
If we are talking about 'A' then we are not talking about 'non-A.' So if you are talking about a red car I know you are not talking about a blue truck. To have a coherent conversation we need to know what we are talking about.

The Law of Rational Inference:
As Wikipedia states: "Inference is the act or process of deriving logical conclusions from premises known or assumed to be true."
So when I say that I came to work today on my bike you could conclude that my bike is at the office.
Pretty simple stuff right?

Law of the Excluded Middle:
Just because two things have one thing in common doesn't mean they have everything in common. For example:
A) All Elephants have ears
B) I have Ears
C) I am an Elephant
This is funny to me because while growing up some people made this very mistake with me and my ears. Too bad they didn't know the laws of logic. This law makes a lot of sense when using the absurd example above, but many people ignore this one in daily discussions. I will refer back to this especially when talking about the differences between religions.
Here is another prime example by Veggie Tales: Monkey Song

Law of Non-Contradiction:
Last one and just as important as the rest... Non-contradiction means that two antithetical {mutually incompatible} propositions cannot be true at the same time and in the same sense. X cannot be non-X. A thing cannot be and not be simultaneously. And nothing that is true can be self-contradictory or inconsistent with any other truth.
The best example I have heard has to do with crossing the border into America:
Border Guard: "How long have you been out of the country?"
Husband: "A week"
Wife: "Two days"
BG: "Which one is it?"
H: "Both"
W: "Neither"
BG: "Do you have tobacco or alcohol in the vehicle?"
H: "No"
W: "Yes"
Just see if the border guard believes that two contradictory statements can be true at the same time - not likely, chances are your stay at the border will be a long one...

All rational discourse requires these laws and now with the rules of the game in place I think I am ready for more fun blogging.

The Rioter's Made Me Do It?

A couple weeks ago after the rioting in Vancouver some interesting stories came about. One in particular caught my attention and brings up a couple questions for me. 
Camille's letter gives the argument that it was because of the atmosphere that she had done her crime and if the atmosphere had been different the results would have been different. Now I don't doubt that if the atmosphere had been different she never would have done the crime, but the atmosphere is not at fault it is the mindset.
Let me explain a bit of what I mean. Coming again from Camille's own apology: 

Shouldn’t I know the difference between wrong and right?

Well yes, I should…but in certain circumstances our perspectives get seriously skewed.  It was extremely hard to see the consequences in taking a couple pants,  when around me people were lighting up cars, smashing windows and inflicting physical pain on one another.  My train of thought at this point was that “the place is already broken into, most of the contents of the store have already been stolen, so what difference does it make if I take a couple things?”  Not convinced?  Maybe Christopher Schneider, assistant professor of sociology at UBC, can convince you. 
...
"When you have a mob or riot-like activity, individual accountability tends to go out the window. People see other people setting fires and they think, ‘I’m going to set a fire too, and I won’t get caught.’ These types of people typically wouldn’t set a fire on their own."


Mindset shifts are subtle but they affect us every day and they happen rationally.  When Camille states that it was hard to see the consequences in taking a couple pants, there is a mindset shift that says "I know this is wrong but I don't look as wrong as those people so I am still a good person." Or as she quotes Christopher Schneider, 'I'm going to set a fire too, and I won't get caught.' There is a cognitive thought implied the statement "I won't get caught," that the mind knows that it is wrong. If the mind didn't know it was wrong you would never have had to reason starting the fire could get you caught.


Well enough on the riot aspect and let's take bring it to our own backyard. We are never away from the mob. There is always something around us saying "if it feels good do it," "you deserve it," "just think of all the times you did right and no one noticed," or my favourite, "no one will ever know." We are continually around those voices and it is our decisions that truly make up what kind of person we will be. 


When the clerk at Walmart gives me $20 extra back and argues that she gave me the right amount of change I have a choice. Either I can decide to pocket it as a "gift from God" or go to the service desk and give it back and keep my integrity. "Oh who cares? You argued your case and she thought she was right - why bother just keep the money!" It's not mine and just like I am not going to break into a cash register at the store and take money out I also am not going to steal money when it is handed to me. My integrity is worth more that twenty dollars.


Camille's justification is how society prefers to do things - "I wasn't as bad as those people so I must be good." Fortunately for Camille there are always people around to qualify as those people. For me there is a higher standard it is Jesus Christ. He lived a perfect sinless life that no earthly court could make a true accusation against. He has given us keys to our relationships with friends and strangers and He reminds us that we have shortcomings but there is a way beyond them.


More on that last topic later.